“…feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.” ~Pema Chodron
Anger is an emotion that if we can step back from it, not judge or react it, and simply be with it we realize that it’s a form of energy we see negativity or positivity.
I constantly hear people say they have “anger problems”. Emotions aren’t problems if we look at them in mindful way. We don’t react, but we observe first. Every human being experiences anger. Even the Buddhist, the ones you would label as zen, experience anger because it’s a basic human emotion.
Anger is a sign that there is an injustice. Your nervous system is trying to send you a signal it’s a natural response to an event that you feel hurt, betrayed and maybe even unsafe. Your body boils, your thoughts spin and you feel all there is left is to explode.
You’ve heard the saying, a change of perspective can make all the difference and in the case of anger a perspective shift can change your life. When we begin to shift anger from a negative emotion to one that can empower us to create better and calmer shifts in our body our anger becomes a tool for self-healing.
When we can learn to connect deeply with our anger we grow with it, not against it.
My anger has been one of my greatest teachers. It hasn’t been pleasant, but I had to learn from my anger to tap into my peaceful nature. We all have peaceful qualities, but sometimes we let the dark parts of ourself take control of our life. It takes resistance and strength to not react to anger.
It takes compassion and self love to not judge our anger. Experiencing anger does not make you a bad person, it makes you human.
Before you react to a situation, be aware of the emotions that are behind the person and/or situation. Developing a deep sense of self love for yourself is key to not reacting to your anger, but observing it. It’s not easy, but it has long term benefits that will empower you to become the person you have always dreamed of, who you feel you are deep down.
Don’t be afraid to go into the dark emotions. Your anger is part of you, it makes you a whole human being. Learn to fall in love with yourself and your anger no longer becomes the enemy, but the teacher.