The only way out is through. -Robert Frost
Did you know when you are experiencing anxiety and depression you are actually experiencing a form of love? When I realized this concept, my anxiety began to shift into an energy that couldn’t continue to keep me stuck. It was my negative thoughts about anxiety and depression that were keeping me stuck, not the anxiety and depression itself. The energy of anxiety and depression is pushing you to discover the unconditional love for yourself.
It sounds simplistic and in a way it is. When we become more mindful of our feelings and thoughts we realize that is all they are.: thoughts and feelings. We have the ability to shift our thoughts into positive and loving words that uplift us throughout the day or continue to self-sabotage us.
For many years I thought my anxiety and depression defined me as a person. I believed I was always going to be an “overly anxious and sadly depressed” person. I bought into believing there was something wrong with me, that I was a bad person for experiencing these feelings.
I tried to get “rid” of my feelings through meditation and years of talk therapy, but what it did was continue to disconnect me from my body. I was so numb and out of touch of what was going on inside of me, because I was too afraid to confront it. I thought I would completely loose control of my life if I became in tune with what was going on inside of me. What I have found to be true is the best way out of anxiety is often to expose yourself to the things you are afraid of. I was afraid of loving myself.
As I became mindful of my anxious and depressed thoughts and feelings I realized that was all it was. I was not defined by my anxiety or depression. Rather it was like a river and eventually my feelings of anxiety of depressions would simply flow through. As I became in touch with my body through cooking and yoga I realized that for years I was running away from myself, so fearful of loving myself, experiencing being present in my body. That is why my anxiety and depression kept coming back full force. It was trying to tell me to take care of myself, to slow down, to breathe, to accept myself, to unconditional love myself. It didn’t define me as a person, it was my teacher who was trying to empower me to discover the love inside of me.
The more time I take to listen to my body, to be mindful of my feelings and thoughts, the more I understand that when I take the time to be present with myself, to accept myself fully, and to love myself when it seems easier to blame myself, I feel free. I have the power to change my life by simply shifting my negative beliefs into nourishing beliefs. My thoughts of anxiety and depression pushed me to my suicidal edge many times, but now I’m learning to listen and not fight. I use to be a prisoner in my own body and mind and now I am the true lover of my life.