“The lotus is the most beautiful flower, whose petals open one by one. But it will only grow in the mud. In order to grow and gain wisdom, first you must have the mud — the obstacles of life and its suffering. … The mud speaks of the common ground that humans share, no matter what our stations in life. … Whether we have it all or we have nothing, we are all faced with the same obstacles: sadness, loss, illness, dying and death. If we are to strive as human beings to gain more wisdom, more kindness and more compassion, we must have the intention to grow as a lotus and open each petal one by one. ” ~Goldie Hawn
The journey of healing from post traumatic growth is one that is beautifully transforming, but also slow and gentle. It is also constantly unfolding in front of your eyes, there is no end point only continues growth.
Over time what happens is you become more aware, mindful and tapped into your body and mind. When you are experiencing anger instead of reacting violently you simply be with your emotion. You honor your emotion, but you do not let it consume you.
Same with the emotion of sadness. Instead of labeling yourself as a “depressed person” you are now aware that you are simply feeling the emotions of depression and that eventually, as the ancient saying goes, “This too shall pass”. Once we learn to let go and these self critical views of ourself and our healing process we transform, grow and bloom into a state of thriving from our life experiences.
When we allow ourselves to simply be aware and not judge our emotions, our experiences, our triggers and everything else that holds us back from truly growing into our authentic self we remain stressed and in a state of fear.
When we learn to turn post traumatic stress experience into one of growth, understanding and most importantly entering to a life of self love and healing, we literally change our body’s chemistry. We may look the same on the outside, but in the inside we have never felt more alive, more joy and more passion to be a human being. We feel whole and we honor every one of our emotions that enters into our body.
But it takes time, lots of time. Healing cannot be rushed, it can only be honored. Our body knows how to heal itself if we allow it the potential to guide us back home to understanding our physical and emotional body.
We need food, water and shelter to survive, but we need love to truly thrive and grow. We cannot heal without cultivating a genuine, honest and raw self love towards our whole self, meaning accepting all of our life experiences and choices. Self love means accepting our flaws, our traumatic experiences, and continuing to grow and bloom into the loving person we have always been.
Self love is a form of unconditional love, and this is what grows a person emotionally and physically, along with our basic survival needs. Without love we become blocked, we feel stuck, and we remain in a cycle of self hatred and tension instead of loving, gentle growth to empower us to thrive in our nature state of being.
In order for a seed to grow we must nourish it. If we only kicked at the dirt that gently held the seed, it simply would not grow. The seed needs the space, time and patience to grow into the tree or flower that is was destine to become. Instead we choose to water the seed and watch it grow through the spring. We will never know the exact date or time it will bloom, but we know in time something will happen and we will feel honored to have been part of the seeding, growing and blooming process. We appreciate the beautiful flower even more as we witness the seeding and growth process.
To heal from our post traumatic stress experience(s) we must allow ourselves the beautiful opportunity to relax into our body, to not force, but gently guide. We are the seed and when we learn to be with the seed, rather than judge it’s lack of growth, we will come to a sense of peace about the natural cycle of life. We cannot rush our growth, we can only be with it fully and wholly. We must take the time to water our seeds of healing.
When you learn to love your whole self you make better choices, because you believe you are worthy of a life of dignity. You are not defined by your traumatic experiences, you only grow from them.
When you learn to be with your whole self you become empowered because you realized that the person you really needed to help guide you was your own self. You are a constant state of love, but you must learn to tap into it with constant awareness and openness. Love is a constantly state of fluidity. It changes and transforms and it guides us to peace. We all have this gift inside of us, now it’s just about taking the time to grow into it, heart wide open.
Take care of your seed of healing. Water it, feed it, and learn to fall in love with the process of growth so you can have the opportunity to thrive and be all of you. You hold the loving power.