“Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing…” ~Elizabeth Gilbert
For a long time, I thought grief meant only crying and being angry. I thought of grief as this messy and ugly process-hard to see the beauty in site. Now I see grief in an entirely new way. I have let go of my old notions of what it means to grieve and embrace a new perspective.
There is a time to mourn, to cry, to feel injustice, but there is also a time to surrender, to laugh and feel peace in moving forward with life.
Grief is not my enemy. Rather I see it as a good friend that is here to teach me to learn to fall in love with life all over again.
Many times we think that if we move forward we are moving on or moving away from that which we loved. When we move forward we accept the sadness and at the same time decide that we will not allow grief to hold us back but to empower us to become a more whole, honest and authentic human being. This is where we heal. This is how we fall in love with life all over again.
I don’t see my world as black and white, rather I see it with every shade of the rainbow. There are moments of sadness, of pain, of sorrow, but there are also moments of joy, of growth, of laughter. If you lose yourself in the darkness of grief, then you don’t allow yourself to see grief as a tool to grow. To cry and laugh at the same time, remembering it’s okay not to be okay, but today I am going to smile.
As the days and months pass by it’s not that it gets easier, but rather I am learning to integrate my tragic experiences into a beautiful story to share with myself and the world. This is my gift and it has become my inspiration to move forward as a healer, a woman with a story to share, a precious human being.
Life isn’t easy, but it is meaningful if you allow yourself to see the purpose and inspiration through the darkness and the chaos. It’s there to teach you to become kinder, wiser and humble. It’s there to offer you what you need to grow, not what you want to grow.
My hope is that we can all take a moment to reflect on how we want to move forward in our life. It’s not a selfish decision, it’s a human decision. You deserve to live the life of your dreams and to give yourself what you need to heal and become even more beautiful inside and out.
You are your own lover, your own healer and it’s up to you to claim your role in all of this. Who do you want to be moving forward? Make mindful decisions with every step.
Healing through my grief has taught me to love myself more than I ever have before. As I move forward I integrate my past into my present and I look forward to the future even more. It is a beautiful process that also feels terrifying at times. Now when I feel this fear and anxiety stir up inside of me instead of panicking I smile as something new is about to emerge inside of me.
Every day I walk with courage and confidence that I am walking my path as messy and beautiful as it seems. It is a gift to wake up every day to a new day full of possibilities, of a world that has the potential to feed my heart and soul.
It is each day that reconnects and roots me to why I am here. Here to learn, to grow, to share and to be true in myself as I move forward moment by moment integrate my past into my present to make room for a hopeful future.