My depression at times feels like a dark tunnel of despair It’s heavy and beyond overwhelming, sometimes it feels unlivable and that is when the suicidal thoughts creep in.
Sometimes I feel like I’m at war in my on mind and body and there’s no where to go to release me from the mess that has been created in my mind. On the outside I look like I have it together, to some even achieving the status of perfect, but don’t be fooled that this is only a coping mechanism.
At first I hate my depression. I was mad at. Leave me alone and let be free I would cry myself to sleep saying.
As I learned to develop a non-judgmental, compassionate relationship with my depression, I witnessed a side I was too shameful to address.
My depression was there to ground me. It wasn’t there to taunt me. It there was there ground and connect me.
Most of my suffering came from labeling my depression, rather than observing it.
My depression is a teacher, just as anger teaches me changes I need to make to find peace and happiness. Depression teaches me how to be present with what is. Its not easy, but it’s a powerful lesson to learn.
Our depression isn’t meant to hurt us, but it’s okay to feel that way. All your feelings are valid, but when you are ready-take the time to explore the depths of your depression.
Being with my darkness has allowed me to be even more grateful when I feel strong enough to embrace the light.
You can’t grow a beautiful lotus without it roots being stuck in the mucky mud. We must first be grounded and planted before we grow. Depression is helping to ground you to bloom. It’s not easy, but it can be part of the process if we let it teach us what we need to know in order to grow into our full potential.
Let your depression teach you how to be kind to yourself. Now when my depression hits me I take a deep breath and I hold myself through it. It no longer takes me down, because I let it build me up. I’m grateful that I have become a more loving, kind, gentle and compassionate person because of it.