Why I No Longer Seek Happiness

Why I No Longer Seek Happinessfeatured

“Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is suppose to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is.”

Happiness is a temporary state of being. That means it comes and goes as it pleases.

To be honest, happiness never teaches me what I need to learn to grow. Although, I am grateful when I do get to experience a moment of happiness however long it decides to stick around.

I can’t hold onto happiness-no one can. It might leave me for awhile, but somehow it always finds it way back to me. In time, exactly when I need it.

For my own sanity I had to learn to live my life without seeking happiness. I had to learn to face the world with or without it. It’s not that I lost hope for happiness, rather, I learned to accept that it wouldn’t always be there to remind me how beautiful life can be. I learned to appreciate the small things life have to offer.

Sometimes happiness carries me though my day and sometimes it leaves for a few days. Either way I had to learn to get up every day with or without happiness.

If we’re only striving for happiness what are we really learning? As a human we are designed to experience the whole spectrum of emotions. Everything from happiness and joy to sadness and grief.

Happiness is a wonderful emotion to experience. Sometimes I even cry when I experience happiness, because it took me years to discover what happiness actually felt like. I’m not afraid to be present with happiness, but I’m also not afraid to not have happiness by my side all the time.

When I learned to appreciate happiness, rather than hold on it, I found a peace in my life. I no longer looked to control or wait for something to happen, I just let it be.

Instead of clinging to happiness, I find myself more grateful each and every day. I know when happiness is ready to show itself again I won’t ask it why it took so long, but rather simply by grateful to be in the presence of happiness.

I no longer expect anything out of happiness. I’m grateful for happiness, humbled by it quite honestly and when it’s ready to come knocking I’ll be there ready to open it with loving arms-most of the time.

It took me a long time to shift my mindset from happiness to gratitude. No longer do I seek anything, rather than learn to sit with what is. I still have hope, I still strive for happiness, but I’ve open my mind and heart to the reality that the more I practice gratitude the more happiness will appear, because happiness is everywhere.

It’s in the flowers I walk by daily, it’s in the fluffy clouds that shifty pass by me, it’s in the grace of the rain, in the nourishment of my food, to the love in my heart. It’s quite simple actually, but I had to be patient with happiness and develop a non-dependent relationship. That way when happiness did come in it’s most life loving form, I did not cling to it this time I just smiled and sat with it.



About the author


Feeding The Heart is a blog and resource dedicated to empowerment for whole heart living after trauma. I'm a writer, trauma sensitive-informed yoga teacher, and a trauma survivor here to share my story and journey of holistically healing.

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