Silence is a source of great strength. ~Lao Tzu
I’ve been trying to find the right words to express what my heart has felt the last few months and I haven’t been able to. I have found sitting in silence I get a sense I get what I really need—knowing it’s okay to not have the words to express how I am feeling.
From all the world events that have gone on the last few months, to my own personal experiences, sometimes silence feels like the only thing I can turn for to remind myself that peace does exist. The world may seem in chaos, but deep down inside I am grounded and rooted to a sense of knowing that I can come back to this feeling of comfort at any time.
The world may seem like it has the power to shake me, but at the end of the day I am the one making the decisions of how I live my life on/in this world and how I contribute to society in a way that brings more love in.
But I must simply let myself feel all of this. To feel truly is to heal. But I don’t need to find the “right” words to heal. Rather, I must make peace with silence that allows more space in.
Sometimes the heart needs to remain quiet. It needs to go within in a way that does not express words, but feels vibrations. The heart needs to time to expand and sometimes that can only come from listening, rather than responding.
Over the past year as I have traveled around the world I’ve had a lot of time to connect with the silence. It’s made me a more sane person. I enjoy the company of others, but I know in order to open my heart up again the ways I long for. I must be gentle with myself and find silence rather than find people, places or things to fill the noise to distract me. Sometimes it feels too much, but other times it feels very right. In time you find balance.
This last year has brought me many ups and downs and sometimes I wanted to be able to write and express what I was feeling, but I couldn’t. I wanted to connect so deeply to myself again, but I found I had to learn to connect with not having the words to say how I feel. It’s okay not to know what you are feeling and why you are feeling it. Why must we know?
I had to let go of judging my own healing journey. Letting go of expectations of where I “should” be. I also knew I couldn’t run away from myself during this time. I was transitioning into a period of vulnerability that had shook me to my core and that was okay. I just needed to be present with myself. To continue to love myself through this time that was going to change everywhere I thought I knew about myself.
We never really know. Silence is what brings us back home. It gives us time to breath and to disconnect from all the clutter–the noise–that we’re surrounded by on a daily basis.
In order for the heart to grow it needs silence. It needs time to remember why it pumps life, why it’s here to experience the spectrum of experiences. The heart needs time to integrate all of these experiences.
Rather than find the right words, find silence and solitude. Allow all of it to melt into your heart. Let all experiences be what they are and find peace in what you were able to learn and grow from.
The heart is here to hold us–it’s a safe place. Sometimes we forget it’s there pumping life to us. Find the time for silence, because it’s in that silence that you discover that your purpose is simply to love, but first take a moment to get quiet. Discover your heart in its raw, organic nature.